by Roy Ringel
Twenty-one years ago, the Dragon rose within my father’s body and killed him.
Two years ago, the Dragon rose within my mother’s body and killed her.
I remember how their spirits collapsed as they felt the Dragon’s teeth sink in…their resignation as they left me behind and then, walked alone into the darkness.
Last year, the Dragon rose within me.
Each day, I feel its burning teeth bite into me and yet I will stand in the face of my pain, my grief, and my fear. I will not yield. Instead…
I lower the shield of my anger and honor the rising wavelike voice of grief and the deep aching loneliness of being too afraid to trust; of being too afraid of my fear to feel my fear.
My grief for the shortness of life reawakens my love for this moment and, even in the midst of the Dragon’s burning breath in my body, helps me open my heart into the upwelling tsunami of fear. As I swim within my fear, there comes a beginning of compassion and so, perhaps, of a true courage.
In accordance with both modern physics and the teachings of Buddha, reality and how reality is shaped and unfolds, is essentially relational. So, what matters most is how honest and intimate I am with my pain, with my emotions and (of course) with my Dragon, as each moment flows into this endless present (or is it presence?).
• Such honesty arises from a persistent and intimate awareness.
• Such intimacy arises from the courageous compassion required to be truly open-hearted.
• Such courageous compassion arises from my honoring each experience as it appears.
So, I let my embodied spirit bow-in-respect to my pain, to my emotions and to my Dragon…as equals who face one another in my heart’s inner dojo. Thus, I honor all experience; I honor all beings; I honor the memory of my parents; and I honor myself. As I honestly engage in this intimate practice my experience transforms, thus transforming me, into someone…else.
Who might that be? Who is this self…who notices this Dragon bowing in response? The story of this awakening has no true ending, for every apparent ending is simply a new beginning.
Author’s note: This piece was written this past January (2018), while I was attending an online TLA workshop in pursuit of my TLA certification, and while I had just begun various treatments for cancer. The prompt given was “Turn something that frustrates, confounds, annoys, or disturbs you into a real or imaginary creature. Write the story of how you confine it, or become comfortable with it, or change it, or destroy it, or simply let it go. Illustrate your creative ideas, if you want.”
About Roy Ringel: “Roy has a Bachelor of Arts in English (Summa cum Laude) from the Lee Honors College of Western Michigan University and has practiced multiple forms of Swordsmanship and Martial Arts for over 40 years. After retiring from a long career in nonprofit operations management (including Health Care, Education and Mental Health Services), he has become a poet, story-teller and writer of short stories and creative non-fiction as well as having recently received the following certifications:
- Transformational Language Arts Foundations (Introductory Certification) – through the TLA Network
- Professional Awareness Coaching – through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching
- Coach Mastery Training in Relational Awareness – through the Arbinger Coaching Network
He has a fundamental conviction in the power of narratives to transform lives and has begun to wonder whether or not we are all, each one of us, a story that we tell ourselves about who we think we are.
So he asks…what might happen when we change the narrative?”
One thought on “Awakening the Dragon”
So glad to see a fellow Michiganander writing here. The Dragon has been a powerful metaphor in my life recently, and I enjoyed your brave post.